by Shawn Fink | Oct 1, 2020 | blog, Life Balance + Energy Management, Recent
Doomscrolling.
This is what we do after years of climate emergencies, political and racial unrest, a pandemic and internet outrage incidents.
We scroll and scroll until we find the next thing that adds more doom to what is already a pretty doom-filled world right now.
Or,
We search and search to find something to bring ease and peace.
Either way, it’s really not good for you if you want to make a bigger impact in your life or if you want to take better care of yourself and be more fit in mind, body and spirit.
One of the first suggestions I offer to my coaching clients is to set strong boundaries around phone use and social media.
The reason is, of course, because the main reason a woman comes to me for coaching is because she wants to focus and set priorities that improve her life — and follow through and get them done.
And it’s really hard to do that when you are getting distracted by all the shiny objects on social media.
And oh are they shiny and plentiful.
True well-being though begins with you tending to you and your needs.
All of that is really hard to do when you spend most of your time being influenced by the outside world rather than tuning into your own inner wisdom and guidance.
Plus, over-consuming new information and ideas seriously leads to overwhelm and anxiety. So if you lean toward the anxious state of life, consider what you are bringing into your mind on an hourly basis.
In my own life, and what I encourage for my clients and in all of my programs, I believe strongly that taking action and doing things that are going to move the needle in our lives is essential to easing our collective and individual anxiety, anger and anticipation.
Doomscrolling only adds fuel the inner turmoil you have going on inside of you.
So, here is a 50 Things You Can Do Instead of Doomscrolling so you can stay on task — or reduce overwhelm in your life.
- Stop everything and set an intention for yourself, your family or your day.
- Take 10 minutes to review your planner and/or to-do list.
- Take 10 minutes to do ONE thing on your self-care bucket list.
- Learn to meditate.
- Sit down and read a chapter of a book.
- Learn to manage your energy better.
- Create a meal plan for the next week.
- Develop your 5-year Life Vision.
- Start a New Habit.
- Write a poem.
- Read a poem.
- Reach out to a friend or relative by phone or letter.
- Clear a surface
- Take a short walk.
- Dance
- Pick up an old book and read a page.
- Go outside.
- Collect 5 things to donate
- Start a Joy Practice.
- Plan a gathering
- Learn something
- Start a gratitude journal.
- Journal for greater well-being
- Plan a warm-weather outing for later this year.
- Write a thank you note.
- Do a financial check-in
- Start a family gratitude practice
- Plan your week
- Learn how to manage your emotions.
- Light a candle.
- Peel and eat an orange mindfully.
- Eat a piece of chocolate very slowly.
- Hand-letter a quote you love
- Wash your face (and hands) mindfully and slowly.
- Do 15 jumping jacks or crunches.
- Climb the stairs a few times
- Cry — if you need to. It’s OK.
- Savor Your Surroundings
- Paint
- Make a gift for someone
- Sit and do nothing.
- Tune into your rage
- Plan the next birthday in your family
- Make an Impact on the World
- Clean your sink
- Develop a new ritual or routine
- Doodle your day
- Do a mind dump on paper
- Drink a full glass of water
- Wrap in a blanket and daydream
Not even sure how to make these happen? Maybe you need some life coaching to help you build a well-being plan for yourself. Learn more here.
by Shawn Fink | Sep 23, 2020 | Life Balance + Energy Management, Recent
I experienced burnout for the first time when my daughters were tweens. I had spent the past 10 years focused so intensely on their growth, their development, their needs, their passions that I hadn’t really put that same energy into building true thriving foundations for myself.
That was when I realized I needed to make some serious changes — and fast.
But it’s not always easy to stop all the patterns that lead to burnout such as …
- How we give all of ourselves to others without holding any sense of respect and worthiness for own personal wellness.
- When we serve others before ourselves repeatedly until we collapse of exhaustion or illness.
- When we ignore our own basic needs.
- When we practice bad habits that lead us to a less fulfilling lifestyle.
Women who are also caregivers of parents, partners or children are unable to care for themselves like they should be in order to really feel whole and complete. They are in a survival mode of constant giving and giving and being on for others. Even though a caregiver may make time for self-soothing like a bath or a bit of meditation, this is not an appropriate recovery to truly refuel and recharge.
How do you know if you are suffering from burnout? Here are some of the signs I’ve noticed from my private coaching clients …
- You feel unmotivated to do anything — especially your own self-care.
- You feel numb and cannot seem to experience authentic joy.
- You feel a constant heaviness holding you down, dragging you along that makes it hard to take action.
- You feel negative and frustrated about many things in your life but you feel powerless to change anything.
- You feel resentful for any rest or fun your partner or ex-partner has in their life.
- You feel like you are being swallowed up by constant responsibilities and feel overwhelmed with where to begin to change the pattern.
What does unaddressed burnout do in the long run?
It is easy to blame parenting on your burnout. You just have so much to do and so little time to do it.
However, operating in extreme physical and emotional fatigue is not good for you and it’s not good for your child and family.
Of course you go through the motions and operate on auto-pilot to make sure everything gets done. But your lack of energy for true joy and connection becomes more and more apparent.
This creates a lack of bond and connection with your family. They will pick up on your exhaustion and disinterest as well and act accordingly.
Burnout shows up in your work, too. It shows up in mistakes and an inability to make sound, intentional decisions. And it shows up in how often you end up saying yes to doing things you don’t want to do because you are so busy trying to prove you are enough on the outside because you do not feel enough on the inside.
All of these results of mom burnout can lead to intense feelings of guilt, shame and loneliness.
What can you do about burnout right now?
It’s easy to think that what you need is a rest and certainly good sleep and more time to relax is going to be a great start.
But the only way to really tackle burnout is to create a foundation of true self-care that leads to a greater sense of purpose and meaning in your life. Figuring out what brings you alive so that you can BE YOU, FINALLY again is the secret.
When a new client comes to me facing burnout (or overwhelm, stress or exhaustion) we begin the hard work of digging her out of the rubble of the life that she feels trapped in. Let’s face it, everything we do feels important and it can be really hard to decide what needs to change.
But the truth is that we have to start to figure out where your patterns of resistance, people-pleasing and settling keep showing up.
Once you can reclaim yourself and your energy and start living a more bold, beautiful life you start to feel more whole, more enough.
This self-discovery work that you must do on yourself to figure out what you need, how to make it happen and how to sustain it, pulls back the layers of shoulds, expectations and of lifelong habits that led to your burnout.
Ready to Dig Out of Burnout? My Rise Stronger in 2021 7-Day Challenge walks you through my 6 science-based strategies that absolutely work to lift you up out of the Land of Bitter and Sour and into your own light to shine. Register here.
by Shawn Fink | Apr 23, 2020 | Life Balance + Energy Management
As a highly sensitive, highly creative woman, you can bet I have experienced my fair share of overwhelm.
Too much noise, too many ideas can easily cause me to start spinning.
So that’s why I work really hard to avoid overwhelm in my life.
But sometimes, without realizing it, it creeps back in without notice.
Here’s a Simple Strategy to Reduce Overwhelm
1. Do a quick scan of all your to-dos in one sitting – write down what needs to be done, what you want to do and what you hope to do this upcoming month. You can even add the “should dos” on your list if you are willing.
2. Prioritize your list by what needs to be done right now, later and sometime soon.
3. Read over your list before you meditate, do yoga, walk, etc. (relaxing things). Do lots of deep breathing — focusing on long exhales to bring your stress level down.
4. Return and read your list and eliminate anything that isn’t really all that necessary.
5. Focus on the next best step.
Helping you reduce overwhelm is important in my role as a coach for women. I am constantly refining how to tackle all the things while still staying true to myself, my values and being present at home and in my life.
by Shawn Fink | Jan 8, 2020 | blog, Life Balance + Energy Management
There’s a very distinct difference between the definition of doing and being.
My favorite definition of doing is this one from Merriam Webster: 1 : the act of performing or executing : action that will take a great deal of doing.
It’s the part of how the action will take a great deal of doing that stands out for me.
And then there is being, which the same dictionary folks define as: the quality or state of having existence. Or, according to the Cambridge English definition: 1. a person or thing that exists: 2. the state of existing
So in many ways, we are constantly in a state of being.
And doing.
My work as a life coach, however, has really centered around helping my clients find that sweet spot in their particular life that allows for both doing and being.
Because let’s face it, as human beings we like to get things done.
Finding that sweet spot is not only powerful beyond measure in terms of how we feel, but it’s also makes us so much more effective and impactful in our work and life.
For a long time, I was a doer. I prided myself on how much I did.
And then I woke up and realized that life isn’t about doing.
It’s about impactful doing. It’s about eeking out the nectar of this beautiful life we have.
And to do that we have to have a fine balance of both doing and being. Or, being and doing. Whichever you prefer.
DOING is future focused. Action-oriented. It shows up in the forms of words and phrases like to-do lists, agendas, projects, deadlines and goals. It can show up in body and mind as overwhelm, hustle, hurried, harried, rushing and stress.
BEING is present moment focused. It’s happening for you right now. Right now you are in a being state. It is entirely wrapped up in right here and what you are doing. Being shows up in mind and body like mindfulness, rest, ease, flow, presence, and now. For many, this may feel like sitting or resting. But really, it’s more about living without an agenda that is forward-focused (or past focused).
The difference between doing and being is simple. In one you are focused on where you are headed and what’s possible. In the other, you are focused on where you are right now and what is. Your sweet spot in an impactful life is learning how to incorporate both for the greatest impact and ease. If you are ready to find your sweet spot between doing and being, I’d love to work with you. Sign up for a FREE coaching discovery call with me now.
by Shawn Fink | Feb 11, 2016 | blog, Life Balance + Energy Management
In my work with busy, modern moms around the world, one theme has come up repeatedly.
Our desire to get more things done, and yet have more free time and slow days.
I’ve talked about this dichotomy of modern womanhood quite a bit.
I feel it, too.
There’s never enough hours in the day. Just how do we get it all done?
And, as a mom who is also a creative soul and coach with her own business, being productive — and peaceful is so vital to my well-being.
For me, there is a zone of peacefulness I need to be focused on each day as I live my life with intention — and get things done.
When I’m in that “zone of peacefulness” I feel like I’m enough, I do enough and I have enough. I am content, but not overwhelmed. I am productive, but not burned out.
To test my theory that we can absolutely feel peacefully productive, I’m going to test out a bunch of known, and lesser known, productivity methods and tips for the rest of this year.
On Monday, I’ll be announcing which productivity tip I’m testing for the week.
LET’S DISH: What’s your biggest struggle when it comes to being productive and also living with intention?
by Shawn Fink | Apr 8, 2015 | blog, Life Balance + Energy Management, Recent
When I first started my Abundant Mama business years ago, I had one mission.
Get the work done.
But over time this meant that I was not really taking great care of myself.
Eventually, with lots of practice and time, I learned to combine work with self-care.
That’s when I began to work in three delicious morning rituals that transformed my mornings to help me create the most abundant lifestyle — and business life.
3 Delicious Morning Rituals for A Woman CEO
Take a CEO Walk
This is a walk where you simply ask yourself three things.
What message do I want to send out to my tribe today?
What tiny miracle should I create today?
How will I take my business further along today?
Journal Your Day
This is by far my favorite. I get out all of my favorite colorful pens, the calendar and the day’s must-dos and I doodle the day away. This is part serious business and part creative brainstorming. And it’s all fun and productive, too. By painting a great image of what you want your day to feel like you are taking a big leap into achieving your dreams rather than sitting back and thinking … now what?
Read Inspiring Material
Nothing jump starts a day better than reading something that moves you in mind, body and soul. Whatever that is … you can easily turn it into your energy boost for the day. Gather up four to five quotes that sets your creative energy on fire and be sure to read them every morning over your coffee or tea — or hot lemon water.
