If you struggle between wanting to lay down and take a nap or make an impact as a leader or as a creative soul — you are in the right place.
I’ll always look back on history and think of 2020 as the year a whole new generation of anti-racists were born.
Yes, there was a virus and a pandemic that made life really, really hard.
But there was huge progress in ways we hadn’t seen in our lifetimes in the area of racial justice because of the heart-breaking police murder of George Floyd.
And yet .. there is so more work to do to disrupt how white supremacy rules over our every system in society.
We simply cannot give up. We cannot quit. We cannot let our exhaustion stop us.
Because yes. We are exhausted. Tired to the bone.
The thing, though, is this is hard work because it’s a marathon not a sprint.
June 2020 was a sprint.
Now it’s time for the marathon, especially for white women like me.
Because we really do care and we need to prove it.
And this is the time we need to lean into our divine rage — before another urgent matter arises.
As a life design coach AND a social justice warrior and anti-racist for nearly 20 years, I will be sharing some of my own well-being practices that help me stay strong, balanced and sane so that I can make a bigger impact without giving up in my upcoming Rise Stronger in 2021 7-Day Challenge. (Sign up here.)
The strategies we’ll be focusing on during that week-long challenge are a higher level of well-being than we’re used to implementing in our lives and that’s why they are so powerful.
However, until then … I really wanted to make sure I specifically address how to make sure you take time for that nap AND your social justice work.
RECONNECT WITH YOUR WHY
In my private coaching work, I talk about your Why Factor all the time. You have to know what you are working toward in order to really know where you are going. It’s far too easy to get sidetracked with shiny objects by the latest explosion in the internet anger machine. Rather than jump all over the place, reconnect with your values, your mission and your personal goals for working toward human rights and social justice issues. If you don’t know what your why is, that’s a great place to start.
PAUSE AND TAKE BREAKS FROM THE NEWS. LOTS OF THEM.
Only you know what your body needs and so sometimes what you need right now is not convenient for the news cycle. It’s OK to opt-out of reading or watching today’s big news story to focus on your needs. If you are experiencing anxiety or overwhelm, it’s time to stop and take a long break. Your brain and your body needs a lot of time to heal and recover, especially from traumatizing events. Pro Tip — It’s even better is to work in weekly — or daily — rests from the news rather than go full on digital escape. I personally try to take at least 60-90 minutes of unplugged time in my day.
GO BIG OR GO HOME
In order to make an impact in the world, we must make intentional actions that actually do good. So while screaming on social media how mad you are feels like you’re doing something, ask yourself what you can really do to make an impact. Instead of sharing on Facebook, can you call your representatives, write emails or call voters? Pro-Tip — Dedicate an hour or two a week solely to your social justice work so you can keep up your own consistency. I do this on Fridays thanks to a colleague who suggested it.
FIND YOUR PEOPLE
The best thing I ever did was start a local group of like-minded people in my community. We started as a small group of super upset and angry women in 2016 and now we are 2K strong with men and women with a variety of passions and life experiences. Having this group to lead, empower and stay connected with has been crucial to keeping me going and not giving up. This is not solitary work that we’re doing. It’s relational. It impacts people. And that’s why it’s really best done with a group to help grow your momentum and not feel so alone. To find your people, you may have to put yourself out there and use your voice. This is a Brave Yes move for sure.
STAY IN YOUR INTEGRITY
Since it’s so easy to get caught up in the collective anxiety or anger of the people on social media, it’s also vital that you keep your integrity about you and know what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do. For instance, I don’t lead with anger. It’s just not my style of empowering people and disrupting. I am at my best when I am empowering others to use their voice, tend to themselves and leading them on how to stay in their integrity. My line of balance is about staying calm and impactful. You do you. Don’t worry about what others think. Being fully resourced in mind, body and spirit means you will have a greater capacity to serve. You simply won’t be effective if you are exhausted and overwhelmed.
Ready to balance your passions for social justice and taking a nap?Join my Rise Stronger in 2021 FREE 7-Day Challenge. I’ll show you a set of 6 strategies that you can use to feel stronger, be calmer and have more resilience to bounce back from the daily stress of being human.
For the longest time I was operating compartmentalized.
All the parts of me were scattered about.
There was the me as a working mom.
There was the me as a thriving business owner.
There was the me as a dreamer.
There was the me as a social justice activist and anti-racist.
And then there was this: the highly open-minded spiritual me.
Then one day this year, I decided I needed to bring all the parts of me together into one whole.
Your wholeness journey — when seen in the light — contains many multitudes and it leads to that whole-hearted enoughness I bring to my coaching work and programs.
Some call this the liminal space. ALL of it is wild and messy and beautiful and filled with a powerful set of lessons to learn.
The journey toward wholeness begins long before you are aware or conscious of it.
And most women will never give their wholeness the light of day. Most women will ignore their every dream and desire to please others. Most women will put their own needs behind others.
But you’re not most women … you want something more.
You know there’s more to you … and so … permission to journey toward YOUR wholeness.
I know it’s tempting to look away, protecting yourself, protecting your family.
I know it feels so much better to stay comfortable and focus on what’s in front of you and ignore the rest. It’s tempting to ignore the fires of the world.
But the attitude of not my problem is exactly what got us here.
Honestly, sometimes I want to lean out, too.
But if we all keep looking away nothing’s going to change.
Yes, the world needs YOU to sit at the tables where key decisions are being made that affect real people like you and me.
There are solutions for that. You can flourish in the discomfort. You must.
You can’t keep looking away and pretending it doesn’t exist.
You must create an armor, a shield, a body vest of protection to walk into the fire.
I can give you the armor and the comfort AND the tools you need to use your voice and take up space and start to make a difference in YOUR way.
The world needs you to do the hard work of showing up because it’s going to take all of us collectively to change the systems that are broken and oppressing the vulnerable and the weakest.
Your voice is needed.
Your art is needed.
Your songs are needed.
Your poetry is needed.
Your brave leadership is needed.
YOU — the real, authentic you — is needed.
It will be uncomfortable, yes. Absolutely.
You will struggle with wanting to close the blinds of life and lay down and take a nap or get up and change the world.
You will struggle with losing people close to you.
You will struggle with whether you have the energy or not.
And I am here to tell you that we can do both.
We must do both — take really good care of ourselves and unearth the zone of genius we have to offer this world AND choose courage over comfort.
We have an earth to save. And children to release from cages and families to reunite. We have an entire race of people who are being killed by the state unapologetically. We have bullies in charge and not just in the White House. Everywhere. Bullies are everywhere.
I was chatting on the phone with a new coaching client the other day about goals for this year and they responded with an interesting story.
They do not have any goals — except the goals they didn’t achieve last year.
I call these your carry over dreams.
And these dreams often would make the most impact for how you REALLY want to live you life.
And yet … they are hard for you. They feel impossible, perhaps.
Go ahead, make the list of the dreams that you have had on your list that would change everything for you … honor them. These goals and dreams are a part of you and they matter.
Carry over dreams are the goals and ambitions that we carry with us from year to year with hopes of finally being the woman we want to be in our lives. Many of my coaching clients struggle with follow through. They struggle with making happen what they want to make happen.
This kind of sabotage is common because it’s easy to blame our busyness for why we just don’t have time to do the things we want or need to do.
We forget that our strengths as women are also what can prevent us from reaching out to get the help we need to make our dreams happen.
The truth is that the vast ocean that stands between who you are right now and who you want to be is just a series of choices you need to make.
If you are ready to start making key decisions and tackling your carry over goals, I’d love to be your Accountability Cheerleader. Our sessions will be filled with the kind of gentle fire you need to push yourself to finally start taking the action you want — and to remember to love yourself hard when you miss the mark.
Our sessions will be all about clearing the obstacles out of your path to empower you to that fabulous place in your life you want to be by now.
Let’s see your dreams to completion this year.
Maybe it’s to feel more enough or more soft. Or more joy. Or more inner peace of mind. Maybe it’s to be healthier or to start journaling. Or perhaps it’s a bigger goal like changing careers, writing a book or finding your passion and fire for life.
Whatever dream has been carrying over year after year is where we will begin. We’ll start right where you are right now.
